Balance. 

Balance. It's a silly little word. One word. Two syllables. And yet it's so much more. For some it's a goal. For some it everything. (By some...I might mean me). People perceive balance differently. It could be balance of work and fun. Balance of indulgence and moderation. Balance of x and y. Whatever you want x and y to be.

Striving for balance can feel infinite and impossible. It can feel frustrating and exhausting. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being a carefree child...where play outweighed anything serious. Where everything was indulgent and moderation wasn't even a word in my vocabulary. Where nobody wanted balance.

And yet here we are. Adults. Where if we don't have some semblance of balance we feel lost and anxious. And so we must try. But like with most things, balance is a never ending journey not an endpoint. Life is always changing and so our perception of balance is always changing. And so we must change or shift when our beloved balance starts to slip from our grasp.

For me, balance hasn't been achieved in my current situation. When I get home from work I'm usually exhausted from learning and doing and commuting. On days off I relish rest or travel to visit my family, my sister, or my Vermont. Most days I eat some quick meal, shower, and watch Netflix before going to bed. Balance for me would include a home cooked meal, exercise, and some fun every few days or so. I'm working on it.

My goals to get closer to achieve balance are:

  • Meal prep one day each week. I suck at cooking after work. And I definitely can't cook and workout.
  • Bribe myself to workout when I don't want to...with Grey's Anatomy on the treadmill or the Arc machine. Any minutes are better than no minutes.
  • Don't beat myself up when my body needs sleep or rest or copious amounts of Netflix (aka my Saturday off).

Today I got a haircut and it stressed me out because it was super expensive. BUT then my hairdresser told me: Don't try to change your hair, work with your hair. Just like our bodies are different and we shouldn't try to change them, our hair is different and we shouldn't try to change it. Truth. There have never been truer words.

While I struggle to get out and do things on my own in order to meet people I also need to take it easy on myself. Some days I don't feel social and I want to stay inside and curl up. Other days I crave interaction and excitement and want to be out on the streets of Boston exploring and meeting people. If anyone has any tips for meeting people (dating wise or friend wise) let me know in the comments.