Scotland Realizations

While in Scotland I thought a lot while driving through the gorgeous scenery. I also thought a lot when I couldn't fall asleep most nights; my brain just wouldn't shut off. The first thing I realized is I miss the mountains. While Boston has given me so much and brought me closer to my family it can never replace Vermont. The feeling I get when I see mountains is irreplaceable. A city will never give me that calm.

I also realized that I want to save my money for traveling. Since starting full time work I've often thought that I need more day to day plans to look forward to outside of the daily routine. But after traveling I realize this is what it's all about. I'd rather have a boring day to day routine (which I rather enjoy) and be able to travel the world. So where to next?!

And finally I realize I need to take better care of myself. The first few days of travel I was exhausted. I was physically and mentally tired. It made me contemplate why this is.

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For one, I have not been putting my nutrition first. I've been cooking large meals to last the week not thinking that my body and mind would want some variety. This often leads me to getting food out or eating more to find that satisfaction. I've also been a bit too quick to reach for some chocolate or a glass of wine when I'm stressed/anxious/overwhelmed/angry and so on (currently eating whiskey tablet on the plane during som turbulence...) It's not wrong to choose food as a coping mechanism, but it's been my only coping mechanism. I need to start paying more attention to why I am eating. Am I just saying yes because I feel bad saying no? Is it something I really want or don't get to have very often? Will it make me feel good? Am I eating out of boredom? Or stress? I want to be more aware of these things. And I want to try to find other things that will satisfy or comfort me on occasion. Honestly on the plane traveling back in time I’ve really got nothing...it’s 9pm to me right now but who knows what time it is below me...maybe 6pm?

Second, I have not found a way to be active in the city which I enjoy. I used to like running (not as much as my sister does) when I lived in the mountains. But dodging people and cars on cement is not enjoyable for me, especially after the fall I took. I also used to enjoy lifting at the gym or going to group fitness classes. Lately I've found myself completely unmotivated and when I don't leave work at consistent times each day it can be hard to stick to a schedule. I feel like I need a supportive community with similar interests with flexible workout times. Too much to ask?!

Overall Scotland opened my eyes to the travel opportunities I can have if I concentrate on saving money for more experiences rather than material things. I also want to put my health first so when I do travel I have more energy and feel more capable to walk endlessly exploring new places. Sometimes it takes an ah-ha moment to commit to making a change. I'm now in the planning process of what my healthier summer will look like. Stay tuned.