A Message to Myself on Dating

This post has been on my mind for a while now, but this is a food blog. However, it’s also a blog about life, to share experiences and just be real.  

I’ve never been big into the “dating” scene. High school and college I spent focusing on, well, school. But I was also a homebody afraid of change. When I was ready to date nobody else was because everyone wanted to keep things casual (#college). Then came graduate school and I had literally no life. Like once every two months I’d actually go downtown at night, most nights I was asleep before kids even hit the bars. Sure there was some dating here and there or what may be called “hanging out” (what does that mean anyway) but those guys I knew as friends or acquaintances first. There was no true effort put into “dating.” 

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I’ve been on dating apps before, don’t get me wrong, but without a true end goal. It was more to see what they were about. Also, bumble in Vermont runs out after a while, there are only so many people in rural America. 

Moving to Boston I had a few friends, all girlfriends. Growing up with some of my best friends being guys I felt like something was missing. I wanted guy friends to drink beer and play video games with, watch sports with, or go running with. Not that I can’t do that with my girlfriends, but it’s fun to switch it up every once and a while. Sometimes you just want to hang out with the guys.

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I’ve been on dating apps off and on for the past year since moving. Usually Bumble or Hinge, but I’ve tried Coffee Meets Bagel too. I’ve had a handful of first dates and sometimes it just clicked. Unfortunately you never know what will happen with dating. Being the sentimental girl I am, no matter how guarded I am at the beginning I usually get attached and hurt in the end. I’ve talked about dating with my roommates, friends, and colleagues. All day the same thing, dating in Boston is hard.  

The easy thing to do is look at what’s wrong with you or what you’re doing. Before you know it you’re thinking thoughts like “I come on too strong. I’m too this or that or not enough x, y, or z.” It’s easy for comments to get stuck in your head, but honestly you’re doing nothing wrong. Someone out there will like you for who you are and you for SURE don’t need to change. Just keep going and keep being open to meeting new people and trying new things. Focus on your goals and your dreams and chase them. If something comes along during that journey then at least you know you tried, but you also kicked ass in your own life without waiting around for something to happen. Don’t stop being honest with yourself or others. Be you.