Hit me like a wave

Maia and Joe’s wedding was perfect. The sun held out for the ceremony. There was a balance between laughter and tears (on my part at least).  The food was delicious. The dancing was epic. And everything and everyone was beautiful. Especially the bride and groom.

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And for one of the first times in a long while, I felt beautiful and confident. As women we grow up thinking that there is always someone better to be or something better to do. And we believe those internal or external messages instead of taking a step back and looking at how great we really are. 

This weekend was a college reunion of sorts. I met Maia in my “victory lap” or second senior year. She helped me through a very tough transition that year without my sister around, first heartbreaks, graduate school, and many insecurities (around body image, dating, getting into grad school, getting a job, you name it and I was insecure about it). One of the speeches mentioned Maia asthe mother of her group of friends and I can vouch for that. Maia always had my back through those tough years and I couldn’t have gotten through them and grown without her.

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Sure this weekend was a little tough being as I was one of the only single ones my age at the wedding. But you know what? I felt confident and secure in who I am. The realization came crashing into me as I walked around outside the reception tent admiring the views, sipping my red wine (duh), and enjoying the company of myself. I didn’t feel the need to be surrounded by people to feel important or the need to talk to certain people to show face or make other people jealous. Instead, I found myself talking to many people whom I haven’t really met before or whom I know but not too well. I walked tall and proud feeling comfortable in my skin. I danced like I’ve never danced before and didn’t care how I looked because I was having fun.  

Sometimes it takes going back to a place or a group of people to make you realize how much you’ve changed. For me, that was Vermont and the group of people I hung out with through grad school. I used to be an insecure country girl with an uncertain future. These days I’m a clinical dietitian in a job that I can’t imagine leaving and in a city full of adventures and new experiences. I miss those mountains, don’t get me wrong. And my friends. But we’ve all grown up and become our own best versions of ourselves. And, truthfully, I really like who I’ve become.  

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