Emotional eating. It's normal. It happens. To some people more than others. I'm an emotional person and food brings me comfort. So I drift towards emotional eating. It happens when I'm nervous, frustrated, sad, etc. Currently I've been a bit harder on myself for it. So I decided to reflect on it some more. Frustration: I trained so hard for ten weeks for this marathon. I did my tempos and speeds. I never missed more than three miles any of the weeks. And then I'm stuck cross training. And now I have two dogs to look after and no access to a gym. So I'm not even cross training. I miss running. I miss having a goal to work towards. I'm frustrated with my injury but also anxious about what will happen at the race because of my five week extreme taper. I can barely even walk the dogs...they challenge me haha.
Uncertainty: I don't know what comes next. I know I'm moving home. I know I need to study for the RD exam. But after that I don't know. I don't know where I'll be living or who I'll be living with. I don't know where I'll be working. All of that makes me feel a bit lost.
Loneliness: Yes I'm lucky to be with two wonderful dogs, but I'm also in a city I don't know very well and I can't exactly explore. I can barely walk two dogs. Therefore, I plan meals to cook, snacks to bake, and Julie's desserts to eat. I can't remember the last time I had ice cream and although it wasn't the best, it hit the spot. Thanks Julie!
So yes tonight I had a glass of wine while cooking dinner and a small bowl of ice cream after dinner. Most nights I have something sweet or a glass of wine. Or both. It's a challenging time. And I can consciously work to be more mindful about it now that I understand that it tends to happen at night and it's emotional eating. Mindful eating doesn't mean emotional eating is wrong. It allows you to eat for emotional reasons as long as that is what you choose. Right now I choose to cut myself some slack. Routine and normalcy will come with time. For now, it's up in the air. It's all up in the air...