This weekend was similar to most other weekends, but also different. I did the usual chores...go to the dump, do laundry, grocery shop, meal prep. Blah, blah, blah. They're necessary chores but not the most fun. So what was different?
I moved my body in enjoyable ways. I went for a 4 mile run on Saturday. It was an out and back to a cranberry bog where I decided to stop and do some squats and lunges. I still can't move after that. Then on Sunday I wanted to shake out my legs so I decided I'd try to run three miles. At the 1.5 mile mark I walked about another 0.5 miles before turning back. I was caught up thinking and listening to music and just wanted to be outside. It felt great to be outside just being. Rather than feeling like I should workout or I had to force myself to fit in some movement.
I bought enough food to cook THREE different meals. I think I've been overindulging (aka drinking lots of wine and eating more desserts) because my meals are unsatisfying. Yes they're delicious at first, but by the fourth or even third night I'm over it. Food is more than just fuel for your body. If a meal doesn't satisfy you you're likely to keep eating until you find that satisfaction. Therefore, this week I meal planned for three different meals: sushi, mushroom turkey burgers, and BBQ chicken with sweet potato wedges. I made the sushi last night. Mom and I still enjoyed wine and a bite of a donut, but I felt satisfied that I didn't need the whole donut.
I journaled. This is an activity I need to do more of. I've been motivated by reading Body Kindness. I find myself pausing throughout the day and looking for the bright side of things. One thing I struggle with are my emotions. For people who know me, you know I feel deeply and cry often. And lately it's been a constant lonely and tired. And yes sometimes my emotions, even boredom, causes me to eat. One of the best lines, in my opinion, from Body Kindness was that just because I'm feeling a certain way doesn't mean that I need to respond to it. I can feel the emotion and realize that all emotions, even good ones, pass.
So where did these changes come from? What else was different? Well, Saturday morning I was curious and stepped on the scale. And even though I haven't seen that number in quite some time and normally I'd be upset, I wasn't. A number means nothing to me. How I feel is what matters, both physically and emotionally. I know I don't feel the best and that I'm in limbo right now. So I'm okay with gentle movement and slowly working towards habits that will make me feel better.
Scritchfield, R. Body Kindness. Workman Publishing Company, 2016.