Similar but Different

This weekend was similar to most other weekends, but also different. I did the usual chores...go to the dump, do laundry, grocery shop, meal prep. Blah, blah, blah. They're necessary chores but not the most fun. So what was different?

 

I moved my body in enjoyable ways. I went for a 4 mile run on Saturday. It was an out and back to a cranberry bog where I decided to stop and do some squats and lunges. I still can't move after that. Then on Sunday I wanted to shake out my legs so I decided I'd try to run three miles. At the 1.5 mile mark I walked about another 0.5 miles before turning back. I was caught up thinking and listening to music and just wanted to be outside. It felt great to be outside just being. Rather than feeling like I should workout or I had to force myself to fit in some movement.

I bought enough food to cook THREE different meals. I think I've been overindulging (aka drinking lots of wine and eating more desserts) because my meals are unsatisfying. Yes they're delicious at first, but by the fourth or even third night I'm over it. Food is more than just fuel for your body. If a meal doesn't satisfy you you're likely to keep eating until you find that satisfaction. Therefore, this week I meal planned for three different meals: sushi, mushroom turkey burgers, and BBQ chicken with sweet potato wedges. I made the sushi last night. Mom and I still enjoyed wine and a bite of a donut, but I felt satisfied that I didn't need the whole donut.

I journaled. This is an activity I need to do more of. I've been motivated by reading Body Kindness. I find myself pausing throughout the day and looking for the bright side of things. One thing I struggle with are my emotions. For people who know me, you know I feel deeply and cry often. And lately it's been a constant lonely and tired. And yes sometimes my emotions, even boredom, causes me to eat. One of the best lines, in my opinion, from Body Kindness was that just because I'm feeling a certain way doesn't mean that I need to respond to it. I can feel the emotion and realize that all emotions, even good ones, pass.

So where did these changes come from? What else was different? Well, Saturday morning I was curious and stepped on the scale. And even though I haven't seen that number in quite some time and normally I'd be upset, I wasn't. A number means nothing to me. How I feel is what matters, both physically and emotionally. I know I don't feel the best and that I'm in limbo right now. So I'm okay with gentle movement and slowly working towards habits that will make me feel better.

References:

Scritchfield, R. Body Kindness. Workman Publishing Company, 2016.

WIAW on Monday

I missed WIAW last week simply because I forget to take pictures of my food some days (gasp...I know). Anyways, I am back at it this week with pictures of what I ate on Monday. Breakfast was my usual staple of oatmeal with peanut butter mixed in. BUT this morning I stirred in about 1/2-1 tablespoon of maple syrup because I am overflowing in this stuff (pun 100% intended). I actually used to fear maple syrup because I love this sweet stuff so so so much. I remember dumping maple syrup on my pancakes and waffles when I was a kid. Like if it wasn't drenched then I was not pleased. And we were a pancake and waffle family, none of that egg stuff for breakfast. No sir. Anyways, I always found myself craving sugar for the rest of the day when I had maple syrup for breakfast and would consequently devour all sweets in sight. It wasn't until I realized that I needed some protein for staying power and that by restricting myself of maple syrup (and other sweets) except for weekends made for a heavy pour when I "could" have it. So now, after a maple weekend I am trying to incorporate a little bit of maple syrup here and there to satisfy my cravings in smaller amounts more frequently. I also had some maple candy that Julie's BF made when I visited her and that stuff pretty much melted in my mouth. This is similar to my approach with chocolate these days. By allowing myself some sweets everyday and any time during the day I usually can better control my cravings. Most days I have 1-2 squares of chocolate or incoporate it into my snack (trail mix) or a meal (oatmeal) and other days I have a few handfuls of chocolate chips. It's a learning process and nobody and no body is perfect (Thank you Hannah Montana).

After walking up to campus in the rain I met up with Molly to grab coffee before starting work. We got to the cafe at the hospital and I noticed they had Black Forest Speeder and Earl's coffee. I turn to tell Molly and her response was, "Today is our day, Megan." So true. So so true. This coffee is for real, what dreams are made of. I also bought an apple to have as a mid morning snack. I have been finding with increased mileage (I hit 41.5 miles last week) that I get hungry mid-morning. I have been trying to have some fruit when the hunger kicks in to increase my total carbohydrates as well as antioxidants.

Lunch consisted of kale and shredded brussels sprouts massaged with Trader Joe's Goddess dressing. Go buy this stuff. Seriously. Get up right now and go buy it. It's is so creamy and delicious and has a subtle mustardy, vinegary taste to it. Molly and I love it. She actually introduced it to me. She dressed a salad with it last week and I fell in love and my salads have not lived up to it. Teach me your ways Molly. Today's salad (with not enough dressing) also had two clementines and a handful of peanuts and a handful of almonds for protein. I wasn't in the mood for beans today and am finding myself limited in the protein department (why don't I buy more animal protein...my body needs the iron right now). I had pretzels on the side for my grain.

After working on our project for 5 hours straight (hello productivity!) I headed over to the gym for a quick run. I knew I needed to shake out my legs today after 17 miles yesterday especially since I work quite a bit this week. Unfortunately I did not give myself enough time to get the full 4 miles in before class, but I did manage 3.75. Julie should be happy with that...

I got to class 2 minutes before it began and was nice and sweaty. I have turned into that person. Just don't sit next to me. I proceeded to eat a Siggi's yogurt with corn flakes mixed in (see above picture). This week at the store I bought corn flakes because I was craving them (go me!). I imagine a bowl of yogurt, cornflakes, peanut butter, and banana slices in my near future. YUM!

I walked home from class and tried calling my sister but she didn't pick up (shocker...note the sarcasm). It was a dreary day, but some music helped a little bit. What helped the most was cooking dinner! I forget how much I love putting some effort into a meal. And honestly, not following a recipe is so much more enjoyable to me. I like zoning out and just going with the flow. Although I was disappointed when I forget to saute an onion tonight. I recently bought a bag of onions to increase their usage in my meals. Tonight I made sautéed eggplant and mushrooms and finally figured out the trick to perfectly cooked eggplant! Start with a little extra oil and just keep cooking over low to medium heat. The longer they cook the better. I usually get worried I am going to burn my pan and stop too early while the eggplant is still a little crunchy. No es bueno. I also cooked some whole wheat gnocchi, which literally cooks in under 4 minutes (once the water is boiling). The day I found this box in the pasta aisle really changed my world for the better. While all of that was cooking I microwaved some turkey sausage. When everything was done I portioned out the gnocchi, saving some for leftovers, and mixed with more oil and some parmesan cheese. Then I added the turkey sausage and veggies before topping with some crumbled mozzarella. Seasonings included garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and black pepper. It wasn't a colorful meal, but it was SUPER tasty. I really wanted a glass of red wine to go with it, but didn't end up having any. I was feeling a bit dehydrated and didn't think that would be the best choice. Instead I ended the meal with two squares of chocolate and zero guilt. As my professor said today, it's okay to have dessert every night. It's okay. Grant yourself permission and see what happens. It's all about curiosity and being open to change.

(Sorry it's not prettier, but the taste it a-okay)

I am spending the night drinking Trader Joe's Organic Ginger Turmeric tea and working on a study guide for a test I have this week. Wish me luck! It's going to be a long week of homework, studying, and working, but next week I have off from work and JULIE COMES TO VISIT!!! I may spend more time working on our bucket list for the weekend. Topping the list is going to see Beauty and the Beast (and eating movie theatre popcorn).